In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I figured it would be fun to talk about my and Gary’s love languages, and how we remain mindful of them within our relationship! I know I joke all the time that my love language is food, but unfortunately that just wasn’t on the list of options. But if it was…
If you haven’t heard of the 5 love languages, they are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
There’s a whole book about the 5 Love Languages, which I haven’t gotten around to reading as of yet, but it’s definitely on my Amazon wish list! You can also take a quick online quiz to discover your love language here!
Essentially, everyone has a way in which they prefer to receive love. When I first heard about this concept, it made so much sense. Just like we are taught to treat people how they want to be treated, we should also love them how they want to be loved! Just think…if you’re someone that doesn’t like to be touched and your partner prefers to show their love by hugging and smooching on you, it may not be received the way they want it to be! Or, if you just don’t care about gifts and your partner showers you with presents, it may not be the kind of love that means the most to you.
Anyway, hear me out. Even if you do not currently have a significant other, I really think there is so much value in learning more about your love language, and the love languages of the people closest to you! It can make a huge difference in the way you communicate and show affection.
So what are our love languages? Drum roll please…
Gary’s main love language is physical touch.
Gary loves bear hugs, back rubs, snuggling on the couch, and it always seems like he’s invading my personal space. Ha! He just likes to be close to me, and I love him for that.
- I always make sure to kiss him goodbye before he leaves for work! Even if I’m halfway through putting on my makeup, or picking out what to wear for the day, it’s important that I give him a quick smooch as he heads out the door.
- I will say, neither of us is huge on PDA, but little gestures of connectedness are fair game! For example, if we’re out for a walk, I’ll grab his hand (until he lets go because his hands have gotten too hot!)
- Gary’s also very good at asking for what he wants. If he asks for a hug, his wish is my command! I know how much a cozy embrace fills his bucket.
My main love language is quality time.
I love getting Gary’s undivided attention — no phones, no headphones, no TV, no distractions. Going on adventures, making memories, or just cooking together in the kitchen makes me feel so loved, and I know Gary makes a conscious effort to provide me with just that!
- Given that we’re in the middle of a pandemic, this one isn’t too hard these days since it feels like we are with each other all. the. time. But, with that being said, even just the simple act of sitting on the couch and asking me about my day is a choice.
- Gary’s great about suggesting little adventures for us to go on! He’s always suggesting things like going for walks on the beach, or going for weekend picnics at the park. Those are some of my favorite things!
- Even if we’re both in the same 700 sq. ft. apartment, Gary comes to “visit” and check in on me if I happen to be in another room. He’ll help me with my baking adventures (even though I know they aren’t his favorite), just because he knows I love the quality time.
Here’s the thing. We aren’t perfect. Sometimes Gary smothers me with hugs when I don’t want to be touched, and sometimes I want his undivided attention when he just wants to relax and watch TV after a long day. The goal is to be cognizant of these love languages so we can make sure each other’s needs are being met.
Oh, and we have a golden rule in this household (which I highly recommend instituting in yours)…
Whenever one of us plays our wedding song, we both stop whatever we are doing, and get up and dance just like we did on our wedding night. He gets physical touch and I get quality time. It’s a win-win. And with that, I’ll leave you with a fun clip of us dancing at our wedding, just because 🙂
However you’re celebrating this weekend, I hope you all have a love filled Valentine’s Day!
xoxo
Jennifer